


Desires Reflected

by seri-kun (vanijane)



Series: The Brave Snake (Gryffindor Draco AU) [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book 1: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Friendship, Gryffindor Draco Malfoy, M/M, Mirror of Erised, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 13:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7803739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanijane/pseuds/seri-kun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Draco didn’t say anything though he was just as eager as Harry was to return to this mirror. If it showed a person’s family then – he tried not to choke on his breakfast – he’d be able to see Mother again and…and Father. </i><br/>
<br/>
Harry discovers a mirror that shows his family and Draco goes to see the mirror but it doesn't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desires Reflected

**Author's Note:**

> Also on [**tumblr**](http://psychofluffy.tumblr.com/post/149122931814/fic-desires-reflected-harry-potter-drarry). Based on [**this**](http://psychofluffy.tumblr.com/post/148832222844/i-am-tempted-to-write-in-the-verse-but-the).

The day after Christmas Harry was acting weird, never mind that he was talking about seeing his parents in a mirror or that he actually put the Invisibility Cloak he just got to questionable use.

“You could’ve woken us up,” Ron said with a frown and turned to Draco for reinforcement.

“He’s right,” Draco nodded testily.

“I’m going back there tonight,” Harry said with insistence. “We can all go together – I’m sure we’re all going to fit in the cloak.”

“I’d like to see your Mum and Dad,” Ron perked up.

“And I’ll get to see all your family, all the Weasleys, you’ll be able to show me your other brothers and everyone.”

Draco didn’t say anything though he was just as eager as Harry was to return to this mirror. If it showed a person’s family then – he tried not to choke on his breakfast – he’d be able to see Mother again and…and Father. He hadn’t seen either of them since he left them at King’s Cross, he didn’t bring any photos of them to school, and he would give _anything_ to see them again, even if it was just a reflection.

That night after Ron’s older brothers returned to their rooms, all three of them hid under Harry’s cloak and slowly crept around the halls. It took a long time for them to find the mirror – they argued about which was the right way while trying not to make any noise to alarm Mrs Norris or Filch or worse, Peeves. But they eventually found their way and when they found the mirror, Harry threw off the cloak and ran to the mirror, leaving his friends at the door.

“It’s here!” He cheered as Ron closed the door and Draco hissed at him to keep quiet.

“Look! They’re there!” Harry said, ignoring his friends in his excitement.

Both Ron and Draco quickly made their way beside Harry but Draco didn’t see anyone but Harry on the mirror and it seemed Ron didn’t either. For a moment, Draco felt both scared and sad – what if the mirror was broken? Or if only Harry could see his parents? Was there a requirement to use the mirror? He didn’t really care to see Harry’s parents or Ron’s family, he just really wanted to see his own parents but what if they went all the way here and he couldn’t?

“Look at me!” Ron exclaimed, pulling Draco from his panicked thoughts. He was grinning brightly as he stared wide eyed at the mirror.

“Can you see your family standing around you?” Harry asked eagerly.

“No – I’m alone – but I’m different – I look older – and I’m Head Boy!”

“What?”

Draco blinked and turned to look at the mirror. He only saw Ron’s reflection but he didn’t look any older. When he glanced at Harry, he was confused as well. Wasn’t it supposed to show family? Or was it different for every person?

“I am – I’m wearing the badge like Bill used to – and I’m holding the House Cup and the Quidditch Cup – I’m Quidditch captain, too!” Ron turned to his friends, his eyes wide and alight with joy. “Do you think this mirror shows the future?”

Draco froze at the question and felt a slight prickling at the back of his neck. Could it – _could it be_? He looked at the mirror again but this time in scrutiny and found an inscription around the top of the mirror. He slowly approached it, ignoring his friends and read what was written: _Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi_.

He read it over and over again until –

“I know what it does,” he announced and turned to his friends. Both Ron and Harry looked like they were in the middle of arguing but his announcement had stopped them.

“You do?”

Draco nodded quietly and cast a painful look at the mirror, having already a guess of what he would see but he wasn’t sure if he still wanted to take a look into the mirror now.

“Draco?”

“I…” He inhaled deeply and stepped away, moving to where Ron was standing in front of it. In the mirror he could see his friends stepping away to give him space and the moment their reflections disappeared from the mirror, Draco nearly cried.

Indeed it was his parents reflected in the mirror but it wasn’t just them, he also saw Pansy and Blaise and all of his friends – all of them who were now in Slytherin. But instead of the now familiar sneers and mocking grins they gave him, they were laughing and smiling like they used to before the Sorting Ceremony and before Hogwarts. His parents were also smiling – Mother looked beautiful, smiling at him lovingly with a soft look in her eyes and Father – Draco felt his knees tremble but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t take his eyes away from what he was seeing – Father was smiling at him proudly with his hand on his shoulder – _it was all he ever wanted_.

And in the mirror he also saw himself just as he was at that moment – eleven years old but with a wide grin and an air of confidence he realised he no longer truly felt. But his robes were different. Instead of the red and gold that he was so accustomed to wearing now, his reflection wore a green and silver tie with the emblem of Slytherin patched on his robes.

But then it all disappeared suddenly and he found himself staring at the worried faces of Harry and Ron.

“Draco!”

“Malfoy!”

He could see them yelling, faintly making out that they were calling for him but their voices were muffled like they were under a spell or underwater. In fact he felt very cold all over his body and there was a tight pressure on his arms, it felt like hands gripping him but he wasn’t sure.

And all of a sudden, everything blurred together into nothingness.

* * *

When Draco woke up in the dormitory mid-morning the next day, he felt like he was trampled by centaurs. His face felt raw, his eyes stung, his throat was sore and he was disoriented. He couldn’t even find the strength to stand up from the bed and after his failed attempts, he gave up and buried himself into the pillow and blankets.

The memories from last night slowly came back to him and he choked back a sob. Though everything else was more like a blur, what he saw in the mirror was vivid in his mind. It was the fantasy he was entertaining during those first couple of months in Hogwarts where he was truly alone and all he had for comfort was the weekly tea and biscuits with Professor McGonagall. Every moment, even worse in his sleep, he would dream of it. When Pansy sent him a tripping hex, he fantasized that it was someone else – sometimes it had been Hermione, but most often it was one of his roommates – and he was standing beside her, laughing.

It was only recently that the fantasy stopped, not completely but he didn’t spend every waking moment thinking about it. He had his friends to thank for that, there was barely any room for depressing thoughts when he was with them. Even in his sleep, it wasn’t as bad and most nights he would be too tired from whatever his friends dragged him into and he fell into a dreamless sleep.

But last night – that was different because he _knew_ what that mirror could do. It was what his heart’s desire, his deepest desire and unlike his dreams where it felt so bad, so _painful_ , the mirror felt _real_ and _oh so beautiful_.

“An enchantment,” he told himself with a hoarse whisper and felt a tear roll off his cheek. “ _It’s_ _not real_. It’s – not – real.”

And he knew it wasn’t, he was aware it wasn’t. The mirror was a beautiful poison and he was sure he would’ve rotted away in his own mind if Harry and Ron hadn’t pulled him from its trap. But he wanted to go back, to see that mirror and stand there watching his parents’ love and approval. He could only imagine the looks on their real faces if they actually saw him.

He inhaled deeply and held the blankets around him tighter. He didn’t want to cry nor to feel so much but he did. He couldn’t stop himself and he stopped fighting, surrendering. He cried quietly onto his arm, only realising then that he was still wearing his Weasley jumper and found little comfort in it.

When he heard the tell-tale sounds of his friends waking up, Draco stilled and willed himself not to sniffle. He didn’t want to see anyone, not even his friends. He knew he should thank them for taking him back but he couldn’t find it in himself.

“Draco? Are you awake?”

He didn’t respond and after a moments, he heard the door close and returned to his misery.

* * *

Draco woke up in the middle of the night. He hadn’t left their room the whole day and must have fallen asleep during the afternoon. He still felt like he was trampled on but he found enough strength to sit up on the bed.

Looking around he found that there was a plate of food on the counter and judging from what was on it – a random assortment of meat pies and dessert, he knew Ron and Harry brought them out from dinner. He smiled a little at that, he didn’t believe they would ever be good friends but may be they could. And speaking of his friends, he turned his gaze across the room and heard, rather than found, Ron snoring loudly on his bed but when his eyes landed on Harry’s bed –

“Oh no,” he muttered to himself and was on his feet, making a dash towards Harry’s bed just to make sure but no, his eyes didn’t betray him. Harry was gone and it was obvious where he would have gone.

Draco hurriedly left the room and nearly slid on his way down the stairs with the full intent to find Harry and bring him back when he heard the portrait door open and close. It was past the first year’s curfew and he stilled, not wanting to be caught sneaking out but then there was nothing, no one was walking out from the small corridor –

“Draco?” Harry’s voice called just as he pulled off the cloak and appeared standing before Draco.

“Harry,” he responded curtly but his shoulders sagged in relief. “You…”

Harry nodded quietly, “I went to the mirror again but – Dumbledore caught me.”

“Oh.” Was he in trouble? Were they?

“He only told me never to go looking for it again,” Harry continued, sounding both sad and guilty. “He said they would move it to a new place so…”

“He’s right,” he found himself saying although hesitantly. “It’s a dangerous mirror – er…we’re not in trouble are we?”

“He didn’t say anything but I don’t think we are.”

There was a tense, uncomfortable silence and Draco didn’t know what to say. Relieved as he was that they weren’t in any trouble, he still felt an ache at the thought that the mirror wouldn’t be there anymore.

“Er – Draco?” Draco looked up to face Harry but his friend wasn’t looking at him directly. “Are you…do you want to talk about it?”

He stiffened, his throat going dry.

“You never talk about it and I don’t talk about…about my family either so I don’t think I should ask but if you _want_ to, I wouldn’t mind sharing.”

He heard his heart thundering on his chest and felt choked. He was about to take a step back, run away from Harry and _hide_ – but he stopped himself before he could take that step and remembered Professor McGonagall, Hermione and the Weasley jumper that both he and Harry were wearing.

“You don’t have to – I’m sorry,” Harry said hastily, looking panicked as he approached Draco as if he wanted to comfort but wasn’t sure if he could.

Draco wanted to run but _no_ , he had to do this.

“I – I’m not supposed to be in Gryffindor,” was the first thing that came tumbling from his mouth, shocking Harry into stilling in place. Draco inhaled deeply and clenched his fists before he continued, “all of my family has been in Slytherin and when I told m-my parents that there was a _mistake_ because I’m in Gryffindor, they – they… _abandoned_ me. They called me – they called me a – a _mistake_.”

“I’m _not_ supposed to be _here_ ,” Draco sobbed, furiously swiping his arms over his eyes to wide away the tears. He felt so ashamed to be crying like this – to be so _weak_.

“All my life I was called a freak, that I’m abnormal,” Harry whispered quietly as if he was scared anyone would hear but Draco did and when he looked back up, he saw that both he and Harry were standing close to each.

“What? _Why_?” Draco cried in disbelief and horror. What he felt these past few months were the _worst_ and even now, he didn’t know how to get rid of it. But Harry confessed that he had to deal with this kind of treatment for all his life – how did he manage to survive that?

“The muggles who raised me hates magic and they hate me, too. They didn’t tell me that I was a wizard or how my parents died and when I did _something_ strange, they would –” Harry froze and Draco instinctively reached for his hand and held it.

“My – my parents hates muggles,” he confessed with guilt as he thought of Hermione and Dean and Seamus, “they hate mud – muggleborns like Hermione and call them mudbloods. They hate the Weasleys, too. They hate Gryffindor. They always told me I’ll be in Slytherin and now, they won’t even talk to me and they took my owl. I…they hate me now, too.”

Harry was looking at him now, he looked scared and Draco knew he probably looked scared, too. They were different – Harry grew up being hated while Draco grew up with loving parents, Harry didn’t even have parents. And Draco knew he shouldn’t but he guiltily felt comforted by that – _at least he had parents._

“I never had friends, no one liked me and the other kids would go on Harry Hunting. I…I wanted to be friends with you when I met you at the shop but you were a prat,” Draco couldn’t help but snicker and Harry wore a small smile. “Ron’s my first friend then – I like to think you became my next friend.”

“I had a lot of friends – I thought they were my friends. But you’ve seen what they do and Hermione tried to help but I yelled at her,” Draco frowned but felt Harry squeeze his hand and was comforted by the gesture. “I’m happy the troll happened even if it nearly killed us. I got – I’m not alone anymore.”

“I saw my parents and Pansy and the others in the mirror,” Draco continued, feeling choked up again. “I was – I was there but wearing Slytherin robes.”

“I saw my parents and their families in the mirror, they were smiling. That was the first time I saw them. I never – I never knew how they looked before.”

Draco didn’t realise immediately that they stopped talking and instead were sniffling and try not to cry. He didn’t do a very good job and kept wiping his eyes but Harry kept holding his hand and that was enough.

“Do you – do you still want to be in Slytherin?” Harry asked quietly much later.

He didn’t answer immediately but he realised that his answer was how he honestly felt, “I’m – I’ll be fine right here.”


End file.
